WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS?

I have a bit of a weird problem, I live at home with my mom (basically due to my own personal health issues.) We used to have a real good friendship/relationship but it saddens me to say that for the last few years our relationship has taken a real decline due to me being cyber buddies, this particular cyber buddy shares the same interests as me (we have no intention ever in meeting up because we realise it is for the best that we stay just virtual) - this suits both of us because I am a wheelchair user and my buddy is not aware of me needing this mode of transport, I have not told him I use one because I do not feel he has to know. We chat every alternative night using a downloaded messenger package, we also talk on the telephone every day (we both pay for our own mobiles once a month, so we are not having to rely on the land-line telephone to communicate on. Instead of being happy for me, mom seems to be very annoyed by this so called friendship, in actual fact even though I take the calls in my bedroom she still seems real pi**ed off by this ociation. She calls him s and when I told her I have said hi to his mom, my own mom went again crazy. Am not sure why, I have tried to ask her but it usually escalates into a full-blown argument, with a lot of verbal abuse and violence coming from my mom. In actual fact, at one time I was having to have my calls outside and when it was too cold to go outside I had to give my cyber buddy an alias so mom thought I was talking to somebody else. I gotta admit i hated living with this web of lies and deceit so in the end I told my mom was it ok for me to call up my cyber buddy (she thought the cyber buddy was out of my life, even though they wasn't) - she agreed but did not agree whole-hearted. I have talked about this problem with a few close friends and they see nothing wrong with it. Mom says it makes her lose all interest in herself and that it makes her very depressed, and the most sick thing is she says she will get her own back, when I questioned her on this, she was busy telling me about a time she was present an opportunity to run over my late father's mistress as mom was in the car, when the mistress was crossing over to the other side of the car park to get into her car, mom continued to say she turned up the cd player at full volume, opened the windows and revved the engine. I must say I remember this incidence clearly even though I was only six at the time, it was real scary and had no clue at the time who it was or why my 'sweet dear' mom was acting in this manner. She also said today if she had still been working in the health industry and if the new wife had presented herself in hospital, mom would have made sure she had left the hospital with more injuries than she had come in with and as she concluded she would have escaped any form of punishment because all health workers stick together. This made me feel both disgusted and indeed sickened to the pit of my stomach to hear that my so called loving and caring mom could talk in this way. I know it was wrong of my dad to leave the family home for this woman, but that was his choice and also revenge is never the answer, even though it might make the hurt party feel better at the time, its only a short term answer. The real solution is continue living your life to the full and making sure you always look your best. But going back to my own situation, I feel so afraid and totally torn, I feel as if I am split in two, because I so want a good relationship with my mom (we all know you only ever have one true mom in life) but I also want to be able to have my phone calls. Even as I am writing this, I can hear her saying from the other room she does not want me in the car, she does not even want me in the house and that she hates me even worse and I have only myself to blame by having my calls, as there is no need for them in her eyes. I hate the pain I make and bring to my mom as she seems to be so distressed by all of this, but I feel that I am doing no harm. Both myself and my cyber buddy are single and live with our moms, we never chat in a ual sense, we just chat on the things we have done that day, books we are reading, films we are watching, food and drinks we like, favourite actors and actresses. It seems rather boring I know but we like it. Mom has just revealed she feels she has her a son-in-law that she hates and she would rather disown me for good than to ever like him. She also claims he is not a good person, when she knows nothing about him and in actual fact she has even wished him ill health and some times she has even said she wanted him dead so then I will have nobody, because even if I did get rid off him out of my life, there is no way she is going to let me (in her words) 'worm my way back into her affections, and my place in the family is lost forever because of my choice I have made.' I guess there is no solution here, but I just want to